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After Medjugorje - (my song)

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Daniele Nasuti, Jul 9, 2018.

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  1. #1 Daniele Nasuti, Jul 9, 2018
    Hi everyone, I'm new here even if I've bene watching @Mike Verta 's youtube videos since 2013.
    I come from italian pop music which I've listened since I was a child, but in the last years I've been hearing and studying also a lot of soundtracks.

    "After Medjugorje" came out on digital platforms in 2017 also if I wrote the first idea in 2013 (a long story).

    I call it "song" because I've structured it like a song, but actually doesn't have lyrics.

    Listen to it if you want and please tell me what you think about. I'm open to advices ;) :)

    Thank you!!

     
  2. #2 Daniele Nasuti, Mar 30, 2019
    I did another video in which I show the original project, tracks, sounds of this song, before mixing and mastering.
    The bass track has some different notes and also piano sound is a bit different.
    Maybe could be interesting for someone...

     
  3. #3 JP Beveraggi, Mar 31, 2019
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2019
    Hello Daniele,

    Welcome, I have not been a member for very long either but I do find the experience really useful so far.

    I think to get any advice for your piece, it would be helpful to state what you intended to express with it. Not knowing exactly what your intentions were, I would just tell you what I hear.

    As it stands, your track belongs to the ambient genre. A simple chord progression leads a light melodic content. You modulate only once towards the end of the piece while still preserving all melodic and harmonic rhythm: standard pop trick =;] The instrumentation is quite minimalistic (bass, pad and delayed pianos) which means that you give yourself a very limited texture palette to work with.

    Your track is very much structured like a pop song but if you would like to turn it into a more elaborate structure, it would probably be a good exercise to write a B section and make a new ABA version of your piece were the second A is your modulated fully produced version. This would make you work on transitions and melodic development, but you would need to reinforce your melodic statements so they do not sound like they "bleed" from the voice leading of your chords if it makes sense. But again it all depends on what direction you wanted to go towards in the first place.

    I hope it helps... =:]
     
    Daniele Nasuti likes this.
  4. #4 Daniele Nasuti, Apr 1, 2019
    Hi, thank you for the reply!!

    My intention was to write a piece with only the piano, something like Giovanni Allevi.
    The difference was only the sound of piano that in my case was with delay and something else, and not the normal piano sound.

    So I intentionally did a piece with the structure of a song. (which is in reality very similar to the structure of a film music theme)

    The bass line was a thing I did after some month while I was waiting for the mixing...
    Thank you for your advices on ABA structure but at this point I need only to go ahead with some other music, because in the last 8 years I dedicated myself only to a depth study of composition, orchestration, film music, pop music.

    For "B section" do you mean a completely different melody? Because in this song there are several sections:
    1 - the VERSE goes until 0.40 and it-s almost only ambience
    2 - PRE-REFRAIN from 0.40 to 1.05
    3 - REFRAIN 1.05 to 1.40

    In the refrain I put melodies but I agree that VERS was ambience.
    I also agree that maybe this piece needed some changes between different instruments, I know but there aren't because my intention was a piece with only piano.

    Thank you very much for your comment on my piece!! :)
     
  5. #5 JP Beveraggi, Apr 1, 2019
    As an example, if you listen to this piano soundtrack, you will hear the different sections coming through.



    The structure could not quite fit into a song template I do not think. Amongst other things, he is playing around with tempo and time signature to bring variety over time. Up to you to choose what structure is best for the story you are telling. I am only suggesting possible directions you could explore :)
     
    Daniele Nasuti likes this.
  6. #6 Daniele Nasuti, Apr 1, 2019
    I personally don' like that piece, too commercial for me, but very interesting change of time at 0,34
     
  7. #7 Daniele Nasuti, Jul 28, 2019
    Hi, in the meantime I've added melody and lyrics to the song, here is the final version. This should be better than MARIA song in intonation, pitch, and time sync between instruments. I tried to do also mixing but I don't know how is it, so I'm here to ask you what you think about (mixing, composition, other things...)

    In the description on youtube there are lyrics in italian if you want to translate it with google translate...

     
  8. #8 Daniele Nasuti, May 24, 2022
    Hi everyone, I know it’s a long time I don’t post here, had lot of things to do, but I continued studying and doing music.

    So in the last years among other things I studied also a bit of mixing. Not an expert but I revisited this song and mixed again and mastered, adding some special effects too.

    PLUS I did an english version that I’m posting now. Lyrics are quite similar to italian’s, changed only some phrases and words because sounded better this way.
    Hope it brings something good to who listen it :)

    (please don’t judge my voice too much :D not a singer, but I still wanted to sing at least this and another song myself.)

    YOUTUBE:


    SPOTIFY:
     
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