1. Didja accidentally blow through the whole, "We're using our real names" thing on registration? No problem, just send me (Mike) a Conversation message and I'll get you sorted, by which I mean hammered-into-obedient-line because I'm SO about having a lot of individuality-destroying, oppressive shit all over my forum.
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  2. You're only as good as the harshest criticism you're willing to hear.
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Wandered Into this Forum from a Youtube Stream

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Warren Wilcock, Dec 16, 2020.

  1. Hey everyone! I watched a feedback stream of Mike's and he mentioned this Redbanned forum so I thought I'd come on board and "get better". Looking for some peer review, no holds bar feedback and any recommendations on how to get the best out of this community. I'm not super familiar with Forum structure (mostly FB groups).

    Here's a piece I submitted for my first summative assignment for my Masters program in Film/Media Composition. "Heroic" was the brief and I went with a hero's journey structure. Still waiting on my marks :/



    Cheers!
     
  2. Hi, great to have you here. This is a very good place for getting better. You are brave to bring your piece here, kudos for that.

    I'm trying to be as honest as possible and also as constructive as I can. Also, my first critique here, so apologies if the terminology sucks etc. and if I actually just make you depressed - that's not my intent, I wish you well and clearly it seems you have the talent and the will to get better, so I sincerely hope my contribution increases both of them.

    Now, to the piece..

    Firstly, it is hard to lock on to the piece, since everything seems to be happening too fast - totally not about tempo, to be clear about that, but new things/ideas introduced to the listener before previous ones have been properly digested by the listener.

    After listening it once, I could not hum the 'main theme', which should be the lacmus indicator if piece was working or not.

    At the beginning the ostinato 1-2-3-1-2-3-1-2 pattern would benefit of having one more repeat, since it is not that easy to formulate into pattern with just one go, and that leads to the next confusion: When the horn theme starts, brain is expecting to have the ostinato as just repeating 1-2-3, so when the first horn note is introduced I am already expecting it to be on beat 1, but instead it throws me off and it's just uncomfortable and I immediately lose the focus.

    Then to the horn theme itself, you introduce it once and then I'd like to have it repeated, since I can't really remember it yet. Instead you already go on to modulate it slightly and bring on other instruments doing stuff I lose focus to.

    After that, still new stuff comes along which I don't feel connected to, since you have failed the most important task - keep the listener connected.

    I think this piece would benefit from the very simple mantra that Mike would certainly say; make a two-hand piano reduction of it. That should quickly reveal the pitfalls of not having concise structure that listener expects.

    I'll leave it at that.
     
  3. Thanks for taking a listen and for the feedback, Tommi!
     
  4. Welcome Warren!

    To "get better" you definitely found the right place ;)

    I agree with everything Tommi said. Getting the Theme into the listeners head and two handed Piano for orchestration clarity.

    Since you are completely new here I thought it might be worth to suggest some Masterclasses which will definitely help you with that (in case you want to buy some).
    I would recommend:
    Composition 1
    Orchestration 1
    Putting it all Together

    In that order. They are 4 - 6 hours long and you will get a lot out of them!

    Keep it up!
     

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