1. Didja accidentally blow through the whole, "We're using our real names" thing on registration? No problem, just send me (Mike) a Conversation message and I'll get you sorted, by which I mean hammered-into-obedient-line because I'm SO about having a lot of individuality-destroying, oppressive shit all over my forum.
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My Unleashed cue "Rey's Theme"

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Jeff Hayat, Jan 3, 2020.

  1. Mike,

    Thank you very much for doing UL, and for taking the time to listen to my work and make comments.

    The full vers (for anyone and everyone, of course :) ) is here:

    www.jeffreyhayat.com/temp/Jeff-ReysTheme.mp3

    It was UL's first cue (with altered title! :) ), and was indeed a take on JW's 'Rey's Theme'.

    With the understanding that you can't listen to every single second of every single piece....

    I get what you were saying about the modulations.... my cue actually does that. You just didn't get there, as they are further down....

    1:10

    1:20

    1:59

    The idea here was to not modulate too soon; did I wait too long? If yes, that would mean reformulating the cue - which I would have no issue doing, but then the structure is going to be different than "the temp".

    Would love to hear any more thoughts here.

    Thanks! :)
     
    Paul T McGraw likes this.
  2. Beautiful cue, man! Wonderfully orchestrated. I really love this theme by JW btw. I guess the last great SW theme we'll ever hear.

    I think you achieved your goal. It's hard to criticize anything. Here are my humble thoughts:

    - What libraries did you use? Or is it a plugin? It does sound kinda synth. I enjoy the orchestration, and I see your intent, but it would sound more beautiful with more real-sounding instruments
    - It sounds a bit "tame". Almost like it was all the same volume. But I assume this is due to the synth, since it does not represent the dynamics of the concert hall properly, especially the wood, which would naturally be much quieter.
    - The ending is a bit "boring." (And the orchestration sounds weird) It's fine, but I guess a bit more suspense or anything more dramatic or exciting would work well with this theme.

    This is just my opinion. I can learn so much from you. Thanks for sharing.
     
  3. Hi Marian, and thank you :)

    Libs are a combination of SFA, CS, EW, and others.

    it would sound more beautiful with more real-sounding instruments

    You mean live players? Or different samples? It would def sound better with live players (almost any MIDI mockup would), but the mockup side isn't going to get much better than that.

    The ending is a bit "boring."

    From where, please?

    Thanks!

    Jeff
     
  4. Hey Jeff,

    I use EWHO mostly, and find the sounds mostly very realistic. But it also depends a lot on your template and performance. I just wanted to say, it still sounds a bit synth. But that's no criticism on your composition.

    About the ending: I pretty much meant the final chord mostly. Don't take it too seriously. It's totally fine. Just sounds a bit like you had do finish the piece somehow as you ran out of ideas.

    But hey, you asked for criticism? Here you go. Can't come up with anything more profound sadly. Just enjoyed your piece and wanted to give feedback. Do you also do original compositions?
     
  5. Hi Jeff

    Really nice work. Totally professional sounding production.

    Question: Is your comment to Mike, or to the community at large?
    I have learned that some people like to post their work and don't want any criticism at all.

    So, I thought I would ask to clarify first.

    Since this was brought up already, I personally was let down with returning to the plucking sounds. We just had such a beautiful moment, that I wanted the piece to end and not have any of the material from 2:17 - 2:18 onwards. It's also the most "midi" sounding. ***

    ** To be more specific:

    First let me again state: IT SOUNDS TOTALLY PROFESSIONAL.

    The one thing that struck out to me as a difference and "gives away" midi to me is end of note durations. They are too clean, to rigid.
    Resonance is the heart of the orchestras magic. Think of the sustain pedal on the piano. The section from 2:17 also highlights this as it's too
    end of durations are too uniform.



    I'll stop there.

    Please know. I am only trying to be helpful.

    Sounds great. Please post more of your work.
     
  6. @Jeff Hayat well done! Very, very professional. IMHO there is no way that anyone in the general public would think this is anything other than a real orchestra cue. Musicians, especially pro musicians have better-trained ears and of course, are going to hear any giveaways. But so what?

    I really admire how you took the theme and used it as the foundation to create an original cue. That is a skill that seems to be much in demand in Hollywood these days. I write that only from the viewpoint of a consumer. I am a hobbyist. The key centers did not get stale nor did you jump around too often. I think it is fine as is. @Mike Verta is sometimes overly harsh. The good thing is that I bet you will be thinking about that issue every time you write from now on, which is a helpful thing.
     
  7. Thanks guys.

    Anyone and everyone :)

    The one thing that struck out to me as a difference and "gives away" midi to me is end of note durations. They are too clean, to rigid.

    Yeah - that's MIDI for you.


    TY! :)

    First off, harsh is good. Can't sugar coat, and expect people to learn.

    Secondly, I didn't feel Mike was harsh here at all. I just didn't know if what I did - what he didn't listen to - is enough/not soon enough/right/wrong/etc.

    Cheers.
     

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