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From Castle To Cave Entrance - Piano Sketch

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Sylvain Provenzano, May 5, 2020.

  1. aka "I have no idea for the title so I name it after what I think it is".

    This is a piano sketch of a heroic fantasy theme that I would like to orchestrate someday.

    I'll be happy if I get some feedback about the composition, voice leading or anything I could improve (or anything that will make my life easier when I orchestrate).

    Thanks !

    Audio : https://www.dropbox.com/s/vkc60pci4ss19cu/from_castle_cave_entrance.mp3?dl=0

    PDF : https://www.dropbox.com/s/sfh75cr804rfus8/from_castle_cave_entrance - piano sketch.pdf?dl=0
  2. At 19 you are desperately in need of resolving to the tonic and taking a breath.
  3. Hello @Mike Verta, thanks for your answer !

    I deliberately avoided the tonic because the F minor started to be overused and resolving to it sounded a bit flat. Also, I didn't want to lose momentum by staying too much in the same key. That's why I chose to start a modulation in E right there, thinking that the low lydian passage would give some rest.

    However, I have followed your advice and added a resolution to C minor before the modulation, but not too long. I hope this will now give some breath.

    Audio : https://www.dropbox.com/s/5rjkfpiul41491d/from_castle_cave_entrance_v2.mp3?dl=0

    PDF : https://www.dropbox.com/s/r2pxcln673tj13w/from_castle_cave_entrance - piano sketch_v2.pdf?dl=0
  4. Fun stuff! I felt in few spots the rhythmic variety (especially towards the end) everything kinda sits on the 8th note pulse, and was starting to wish something to shake it up a bit. those half tone figures at the very end for example, if you'd syncopate them to a more of a "tiii-tidi tiii-tidi" rhythm instead of a steady "ti-di-di ti-di-di" that might make it pop a bit more. same goes for the b melody, same with overall shapes of the phrasing, it always seemed to follow the same kinda rhythmic pattern/shape, so maybe the b melody you could try to have that contrast the existing tune a bit more in terms of the shape of the line, or maybe its something you plan on filling in in orchestration/arrangement, usually I tend to try to solve these in the sketch straight up, less headache in orchestration/arrangement when the musical structures and nice proportions can really help you push the piece along and do less in the end. Just something to consider. Other than that I dig it! Great start
  5. Hello @Henri Vartio, thank you for your answer !

    Actually, the rythm of the whole piece is not totally defined yet. You can hear it changing here and there, these are tests. It's clearly something around [​IMG] .

    Same for the ostinato at the end, I'm not completely sure of what I will choose but I like the rythmic contrast of what I've done. That sets the new scene which is uncanny and threatening.

    Btw I'm looking for reference pieces to help me on orchestration.
  6. Reference Pieces? Here are a couple:

    Seaquest Main Theme:

    Hercules Main Theme:

    And, Star Trek, The Motion Picture:

    Might be a bit brass heavy, but the piano sketch you did has some of that element to it. I think there are some others, but that should get you started.

    Nice cue, btw! Very cool!

  7. Thanks a lot @Mike Worth, that's exactly what I was looking for !

    The Hercules theme has tons of what I hear in my head and it makes sense because I'm a fan of Joseph LoDuca's Army Of Darkness. I'm ashamed not to have thought of digging in his repertoire...
    Mike Worth likes this.
  8. Glad I could help!

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