1. Didja accidentally blow through the whole, "We're using our real names" thing on registration? No problem, just send me (Mike) a Conversation message and I'll get you sorted, by which I mean hammered-into-obedient-line because I'm SO about having a lot of individuality-destroying, oppressive shit all over my forum.
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  2. You're only as good as the harshest criticism you're willing to hear.
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Fire at will on my composition please.

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Hur Ozan Cerrahoglu, Dec 15, 2020.

  1. The form is all "off".

    Way too long for the intro, and then too short for your main theme.

    Honestly don't need more than 10 seconds of the swelling brass and would have preferred about 6 seconds.



    The other, and this might be more of a "longer-term goal" is I would spend some time experimenting with writing phrases that break from the 4 - or 8 bar patterns. To have a contrast from which you can return and then the 4 bar phrases feel even stronger.
    It gets too predictable for my taste to hear every 4 bars have such a strong accent. It's sort of akin to reading a paragraph with the same
    word to start each sentence

    I went to the store
    I had a look around
    I did not know what to get
    I walked up to the register
    I asked the man for gum
    I got a beef jerky instead
    I walked out the door
    I went home
    I wish I had bought a nudie mag
     
    Martin Hoffmann likes this.


  2. Thanks for listening to this piece Doug. Comments are golden.

    Can you shoot more specific on form being off? You mean ABCDA is kind a off?

    After you drew my attention now I also sense accents being too repetitive on each 4-8 bars.

    I could experiment further, with Mike's Race in my mind always, i was afraid to go too much away from the anchored rhythm of the melody to not to make it feel like a different music piece. But i could go actually..
     
  3. Sure, I'll have to do it in pieces with my schedule.

    Remember too, I am listening to this without a picture. If there is a film then the context is different.

    Let's start with the beginning. What is more important; the intro or the theme ?

    I am going to assume to said theme.

    The introduction goes for about :36, and your first statement of the them goes for about :16-17.

    So your intro is twice as long as your theme.


    More soon
     
  4. Thanks, i imagined opening titles for a movie, 20-30 seconds of titles (director, artists etc) then camera would turn on the main hero.. )) but ignore this and please go on shooting... it's great to have your guidance. Best,
     

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