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Basic Melody writing, cartoon march

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Stephen Limbaugh, Nov 11, 2023.

  1. #1 Stephen Limbaugh, Nov 11, 2023
    Working on "catchy" melody writing, with nothing that isn't directly related to itself rhythmically or intervalicly.


    "Cartoon March" Listen here:
    https://drive.proton.me/urls/6Y7R5FY7RG#Y1tiJ0IrKp4l


    It sounds silly. But my suspicion is that if I can construct melodies like this, but in a more serious tone, that'll give me the sauce that separates the greats from the other guys.
     
  2. #2 Duncan Formosa, Nov 12, 2023
  3. #3 Stephen Limbaugh, Nov 12, 2023
    Hmm. I'm not convinced in the repeat of the opening two bars. Here's them shown side by side. In the original, bars 5 and 6 imitate bar 3 and prepare the temporary shift to F#. On the other hand, the literal repeat of bars 1 and 2, hammering in the "na na" minor third stuff, perhaps increases memorability. Though, there's something about that literal repeat that cheapens it even more.

    Torn because there is power in spergy repetition. Which one is just better music?
     

    Attached Files:

  4. #4 Stephen Limbaugh, Nov 13, 2023
    Ok... this version may solve the balance between musicality and repetition issue.
     

    Attached Files:

  5. #5 Duncan Formosa, Nov 14, 2023
    I got curious and sent both variations of the piece to multiple people and done a blind test.

    The feedback that I got was it took them a little while to get in sync with your original one compared to my edit BUT overall they preferred yours. I thought that was quite interesting. This will be a good learning experience for me because now I want to figure out why the one they found easier to follow wasn't the one they preffered. And just to note, these aren't people who write music or musically minded, which I thought was even more interesting.

    Every day is a school day!
     
  6. #6 Stephen Limbaugh, Nov 15, 2023
    oh interesting, Duncan thanks for doing that!

    Yeah, the mission is to figure out the balance of likability without going into Baby Shark territory. ...or Meow Mix lol

    Little anecdotes like your friends' are super helpful.
     
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