1. Didja accidentally blow through the whole, "We're using our real names" thing on registration? No problem, just send me (Mike) a Conversation message and I'll get you sorted, by which I mean hammered-into-obedient-line because I'm SO about having a lot of individuality-destroying, oppressive shit all over my forum.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. You're only as good as the harshest criticism you're willing to hear.
    Dismiss Notice

Christmas coming early

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Jure Jerebic, Aug 24, 2019.

  1. I'm writing a Christmas album, would love to have some harsh feedback from you guys, if anyone has some time to listen, I'll really appreciate it:



    Cheers,
    Jure
     
    Alexander Schiborr likes this.
  2. It's nice writing and orchestration. The B-theme is a pretty big shift from the A but otherwise I thought it was cool. The mockup is where it could be improved. There's no space in the mix, it just feels like a big solid mass. I think you could use CC to give phrases some shape and breath, right now it sounds like an organ where all notes start and stop at the same level. I constantly have my hand on the mod and expression faders when I play a line. I think your trumpet sample is also holding you back. It sounds like there's only a staccato sample and a fpf sample, when I want to hear a longer note at the end of the phrase. That would be my next investment.

    Otherwise really nice. It's wise to be thinking of Christmas music right now. Do you have a music library that you're writing for?
     
    Jure Jerebic likes this.
  3. Well..... since you asked:

    Christmas music sucks.

    Was that harsh enough for you ? ;)

    I do aim to please.:D

    of course.

    bad jokes aside (that's "sort of" a joke up above BTW)
    _____________________________________________________________________________________________________

    Overall, I was really impressed with everything. You should post more often ! It's nice to hear your work.

    The only thing.....well.....two things actually, but the only clear "harsh" (and it's not harsh) feedback :

    It's a little too "on the nose" (Do you know that expression ?) with the Nutcracker at 1:03 for my taste. Up to about 1:10. I'm not your target audience however.

    The other thing, and this is more abstract, is I always feel the most popular X-mas songs are attached to lyrics.
    This has a nice, positive, Rodeo "hoe-down" feel, but feels instrumental in it's nature.

    Let me end with again an emphasis on "Overall, I was really impressed with everything."
     
    Jure Jerebic likes this.
  4. #4 Alexander Schiborr, Aug 25, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2019
    Hi Jure,

    Nice track. A few thoughts:

    1. First part ( A Section ) sounds nice and still sometimes I feel that it crossboarders to an adventurous rpg super Nintendo feeling.? Probably because I have in my head that very classic noble orchestral works like adestes fideles from LSO. I think that depending on what your goal is that this kind of very classic Xmas Songs are having often either a kind of very noble slowered tempo kind of character. I think the tempo is a point that your piece has almost like a dancing vibe infused. Just to think about. I mean this pieces are all festive but maybe not that fast? and not so busy? I mean e.g. even Jingle Bells is a bit on the slower side there which comes the closest in that regards.

    2. B - Section does therefore a better job somehow.

    3. returning back to theme: Trumpet Instrumentation is on the heroic side for me. Maybe write not the trumpet for Forte in that sense with that brassy side and more noble and musical? Would imo help to get a different vibe and simply a bit more musical and not so forceful. Maybe safe that for the last section when you return back to your mainsection? Also try to smoothen out the transition a bit with a descresendo on the last notes.

    4. That 4th part feels a bit loose in the transition but I like it overall with its delicate orchestration.

    5. The finale with the brassy trumpet is still a bit on the fence for me. I feel the trumpet is a bit disconnected from the rest and also a bit making everything a bit busy with its rhythmic stabs which reminds on a JW filling out technique for indiana jones (where he did it with flutes). How about trying to play the trumpet with slight lower timbre dynamics and use some airy flutes / picc to goose them? Since I couldn´t hear that you double fl/piccs in your violins melody.

    On the orchestration side: Sometimes your lower orchestration gets a bit heavy and probably just dial in a bit of production techniques for the lower brass (Horns´n´Bones / Strings (cellos /Vloas) long articulations to take out of the boxiness as most samples simply over occupy these frequencies oftne. Could be also to do that you still need to shape a bit the programming there and check your orchestrational chord choices as well.
     
    Jure Jerebic likes this.
  5. Thanks Jeff! 85% of the stuff here is from Orchestral Tools' Inspire and Inspire 2, where you can't adjust the verb level, so that's likely the cause of that. I do have Berlin Strings, but if I take out the verb there, it doesn't blend well with the rest. Once I get the Berlin Brass and Berlin Percussion, it will be much cleaner as I'll just reduce the overall reverb on things :) Yes, I'm writing for several publishers over in LA, this album is for the newest one I signed with.
     
  6. Wouldn't expect anything less ;)

    Thanks so much man. Funny you mention Nutcracker, I only heard that once I finished the track, and I haven't been listening to Nutcracker at all lately! Maybe I should...
     
  7. Thanks so much, Alexander! Wouldn't know, never played Nintendo :D

    2. B - Section does therefore a better job somehow.

    Good point - I could bring down the dynamic levels of the trumpets just a bit, but I made that decision timbre-wise, to fit in between the low stuff and the high percussion stuff.

    Yeah, I mentioned that above, it will certainly get clearer and tighter once I have OT samples where I can take out the verb. Cheers!
     

Share This Page