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Snow Ride - Christmas Piece

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Mattia Chiappa, Nov 8, 2018.

  1. #1 Mattia Chiappa, Nov 8, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2018
    Hello!

    Lately I've been transcribing a few major/christmassy stuff and I wanted to try some harmonic development and orchestration tricks I learned. I lifted so much I almost feel ashamed sharing this piece but here it is.

    As always your thoughts are very welcome!



    Sketch:
    https://www.dropbox.com/s/5cu2yk3ygt6vksd/Snow Ride_Sketch.mp3?dl=0

    Thank you!
     
    Gregory D. Moore, George Streicher, Paul T McGraw and 5 others like this.
  2. #2 Claude Ruelle, Nov 8, 2018
    Mattia, I just love the main thematic concept but it took me a couple of listens to fully grasp the idea - I think you should do more simple repetitions of it before you start going into your developments.
     
    Paul T McGraw, Alexander Schiborr and Mattia Chiappa like this.
  3. #3 Dillon DeRosa, Nov 8, 2018
    Awesome!

    I agree with Claude, I was struggling to hear your theme because you presented it with so many other elements going on I was having trouble zoning in on what was the theme/melody. Definitely just present it simple and clean first, then begin to slowly add your colors and counter ideas. Otherwise, nice job.
     
    Alexander Schiborr and Mattia Chiappa like this.
  4. #4 Alexander Schiborr, Nov 9, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2018
    I dont know what the fuck is going on in your track. But it sounds really nice! I enjoyed the vibe and there you get me, you know. But man yeah what the others say: its a bit all over the place..you have to simplify the statement first and make it clearer..2 hand piano draft, mister? :D Is there a piano draft?
    Edit: After more and more listen I get a better idea of your motif, still..yeah.. it would be a bit easier to have at last once in your track a purer statement.
    I would be very interested in your piano draft, Mattia.

    btw: I apologize for maybe beeing a bit negative here, I dont want. Like I said. Vibe is cool, sound is cool, orchestration is very cool also.
     
    Dillon DeRosa and Mattia Chiappa like this.
  5. #5 Jure Jerebic, Nov 9, 2018
    I agree with others :) Awesome track!
     
    Mattia Chiappa likes this.
  6. #6 Mattia Chiappa, Nov 9, 2018
    Thanks for the feedback guys!


    It's all good man, you're not being negative! I was fine with it but I do hear there's too much shit going on now. That's why you need somebody else's opinion. It's difficult to have fresh ears on project after all the time you spent on it.

    I've put a link to the piano version above if you wanna take a listen. It's slightly different in a couple of places but it's all there :)
     
    Dillon DeRosa and Alexander Schiborr like this.
  7. #7 Claude Ruelle, Nov 9, 2018
    Your piano version is much cleaner than the orchestration - I think you were just overthinking and overcomplicating it whilst orchestrating the piece.

    For example, the first statement of the theme is very pure and clean in the sketch - In the final version, you're already swapping it between Oboe and Flute as well as introducing a countermelody. Also, I feel like the pizz accompaniment gets a little bit in the way as it draws attention to itself - Again, this was not in your piano version.
     
    Mattia Chiappa likes this.
  8. #8 Claude Ruelle, Nov 9, 2018
    I don't know if this will help or not, but this is what I hear in your sketch - I guess this is really close to what you have but here I tried to put fewer parts and strictly stick to what was in your piano version.

    I think this ends up being less colorful than what you did but for a first statement, this is how I would approach it.

    https://www.dropbox.com/s/qesh9491dalfhjz/Snow Ride Theme.mp3?dl=0
     
    Paul T McGraw, John Eldridge, Dillon DeRosa and 2 others like this.
  9. #9 Jure Jerebic, Nov 9, 2018
    The fact that people take time to orchestrate their version of another person's track is what amazes me on this forum. What a gesture! Nicely done, too!
     
    Paul T McGraw and John Eldridge like this.
  10. #10 Mattia Chiappa, Nov 9, 2018
    It sounds great man, I really like this! That's what I should have done and it was already in there anyway. I don't why I always feel this need to overcomplicate things, it's a sickness :D
     
  11. #11 Daniele Nasuti, Nov 20, 2018
    This piece sounds amazing, really another level compared to your other pieces I've listen so far.. (no offense :D )
    Congratulations, really professional to my ears!!
     
    Mattia Chiappa likes this.
  12. #12 Paul T McGraw, Nov 28, 2018
    @Mattia Chiappa I liked your track. And you definitely nailed the festive holiday vibe. Whatever you managed to lift, it worked. I would say never be ashamed to learn from others, just don't outright steal. And even if you do, it's not like a lot of big names in scoring haven't done it. One caveat, in my opinion, be sure you are picking up things from a first-rate composer. :)
     
    Mattia Chiappa likes this.
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