Hollywood, Ho!

The writing and orchestrations sounded quite good although the mockup and performance quality left quite a bit to desire. I assume you're aware of this? Some simple performance expression and mixing skills would do wonders for the presentation of your work. I'd give your writing a 7-8 and the performance and mixing a 1-2, but it leaves my overall impression at a 1-2. And of course, this isn't "fair" but the presentation isn't helping matters. I'd suggest you focus on the presentation problem to give your far better writing and orchestration skills a fighting chance. Mixing and performance are easy in comparison to writing and orchestration and can easily be learned. Just do it! You owe it to yourself.

Even if your resources are limited, it doesn't take much to make a mix sound professional. You don't need expensive samples, plugins and gear. Its more a matter of adding expression to whatever samples you have (even if its Garritan) and some simple mixing balance (any generic plugins will do). For example, you suggest that the ReelCrafter link sounds better. It doesn't. The lack of expression and mixing balance is what's killing you. If those are good, it should sound great on a lo-fi mp3 or even with bad YT compression. John Williams still sounds great coming out of the crummiest speakers. And below is an example of a great mix playing right off of soundcloud. The audio fidelity isn't great, but that doesn't matter. You can hear the orchestration, expression and mix all add up to a great performance here by Alex Temple with six year old samples.

[EDIT] Until I opened your score, I thought the opening melody was an accordian. Seriously. Even with the worst samples, you should be able to make an english horn sample sing a bit more. Have another look at Mike's free tutorial on adding expression to your recordings. This is the issue here as far as I'm concerned. You don't need Berlin Woodwinds to make this sound 500% better.

Your writing is already very good so take yourself to the next level by addressing these other issues that are pulling your presentation down.

Sorry to be overly harsh, but you asked for feedback and it looked to me as if you might not see the golden opportunity you have to improve this. Listening of course is the key. Please tell me that you do hear what I'm talking about. You do right?

 

Yes, I hope your right. However, doesn't Dorico now support NotePerformer at least? I think it does and this can make a huge difference.

You make some very good points in your commentary. I'm learning from them as well! Cool of you to do such a detailed commentary breakdown.

 

Really? I suggest you at least check it out. Not perfect, but damn good! Its the best $129 I've ever spent.
https://www.noteperformer.com/

 

Well, its true you don't even need pen and paper, just the ability to hear in your head. However, I think what Arne has done is brilliant and I find the ability to solo sections and select instruments to be a terrific learning tool (for me). Plus, in its current state, its not an unreasonable presentation tool, although not on the level of full-blown DAW mockup. And why not support and use such a wonderful tool? After all, we're all using samples so none of us can claim to be purists. Whatever works for you though.

 

I love note performer !!

However it is no where near the level of midi sophistication like what Alexander or Mike etc. accomplish.

Personally I would rather hire and pay Alexander when needed and just use note performer myself.

OK........none of that has anything to with the OP

Can I suggest you reconsider your title ? I think you mean "ho" as in get on the horse and make the journey to LA.

Let's just say a lot of other images filter thru my mind when reading the title.

 

Hey Kent!

Here's my commentary. Generally, you have so many wonderful chances for colorful and interesting counterpoint, and you didn't capitalize on many of them. It's a simple melody with plenty of space for new layers of music, it's a shame not to fill it out!

At 0:33 the orchestration sounds a bit empty. Like we're suddenly on hold. I feel like this part with cellos a dynamic below would work really well as an opening statement. However, after the piano, glock and harp set up this motion for the past 9 bars and the basses come into 8ths, this hold feels really weird. It's a simple melody; add another layer to it. A counter-line, maybe something like


Just a thought, but definitely needs some motion. You get the idea with the low string entrance soon after, but "soon after" isn't quick enough as the energy levels are already down. Whatever counter-line you conjure will play nicely with that bassline, I'm sure, no need for it to be one or the other.

0:53—I've just said it, but counterline! I can hear some high winds doing a variation of those last 3 bars of melody (measure 17). I hear this


M.24—try putting the bass pizz on the offbeat.

M.26— come on, give to me! Give me that Hollywood feel! Try horns doing short rhythmic chord stabs from 26 to 29 in addition to everything you're already doing

or something like this (maybe no need to go that high on a second bar, oops)

then switch those chords down to trombones so horns can do your melody.

2:11—missing a rhythmic counterline. The easiest solution here would be–you've guessed it–snares! It'd be cooler if you could pull it off in the first half of that climax with something else, then bring snares to finish it up with a nice juicy pre-roll.

 

To echo Aarons well though out post:

In general you have two areas I would suggest focusing on developing with your compositional craft.

1. How to write music with 3 layers effectively.
2. Avoiding the audience hearing the "bar lines" and how to enter/exit instruments between sections. (You can over lap them, and also don't give it all away in the first 2 seconds.)

Score looks nice. Is that Dorico ? Have to pick that up soon.

Best wishes to you

Doug

 

There is. Use simple counterlines.

But you need counterlines nonetheless.

 

Hi Kent, yes I actually do mind as I have better things to do with my time. However, I will reply to your comments in hope that this reply might be helpful. Suffice it to say that I know hi-fidelity audio. I worked with Sony for over twelve years creating audio demos and I know what good sound quality is. My point was, that all cases, musical composition, performance and expression far supersede the audio quality. This is why we have great recordings of old performances that are poorly recorded and yet still highly appreciated. Upon hearing your initial demo it appeared that you had mocked this up and that you were serious about seeking constructive feedback. So I gave several suggestions which I thought could be helpful (from the performance quality perspective) to improve the sound quality:

1) Use NotePerformer (not to replace DAW mockups, but as a learning tool - and not a bad "crude" mockup)

2) Watch Mike's free tutorial on adding expression to vi instruments. Here is the link:

I have nothing further to add other than to emphasis that I would simply reiterate myself with the above advice. I think others have given you excellent writing suggestions and together this should give you some great guidance to move forward. I think Mike Verta's videos all reinforce these same ideas as well as provide lots of ideas for further thought so I would highly recommend those as well. One thing I will add though is that from all the classes and advice I've received, the most valuable was self-reflective - listening, being self-critical and looking in the mirror. I think this is where you might gain the most insight if you can be objective with yourself. Not to compare yourself with others, but to use comparative critical listening to come up with ideas on how you can make improvements to whatever it is you're working on.