3 Piano Sketches

Good job on getting not one but 4 pieces done! Here are some layman's thoughts on the three pieces.

1st piece:
No difficulties following this from start to end, nothing jumps out as being obviously out of place. You're playing it safe here by staying mostly within E minor. I've listened to this a few times now and I think the main area you could improve here is in making the left hand more interesting rhythmically, if not harmonically. It's perfectly fine to just have quarter notes for a few bars, but once that pattern is established you can do more interesting things without losing us. It's almost as if you're worried that the listener will forget we're in 4/4! To my ears there's room for the left hand to play more of a counter melody, responding to what the right hand is doing. For what it's worth, it sometimes helps me to not think about melody + chords, but rather treat a piece as though it's for SATB choir because that forces one to think more about individual lines/voices that are interacting.

2nd piece:
I didn't mind the harmonic changes, except for the very end (1:30 on out) where you go a little too far out too fast to my ears. It helps that the melody is simple and since the left hand keeps reinforcing the beat you're never really at risk of losing anyone. To that end, my feedback here would be the same as on the first piece. This is a solid foundation, but the left hand can be more interesting both rhythmically and harmonically. Your track made me think of "you've got to pick a pocket or two" from the Oliver twist musical probably because it has a similar rhythm and I think it may be worthwhile to listen to the instrumental version of that track. You can hear how just a few simple embellishments can make the whole thing more interesting without losing the basic rhythm. (As an aside, I sometimes find myself listening to instrumental/karaoke versions of musical tracks because hearing what a good accompaniment sounds like can be quite helpful)

3rd piece:
I'm going to sound like a broken record, but it's the bass that can be improved the most. In this case I would focus completely on making it more interesting rhythmically. You'll often find that action music is written in 7/8 (or 3/4+4/4, interchanging) or some other uneven time signature because it helps create a sense of being unsettled. I'm not saying you should switch to 7/8 exactly, but I am saying that you're going to have a hard time writing energetic action music if you stick strictly to 4/4 and every bass note lands on the beat. Make no mistake, writing this kind of music is very challenging and I can only commend the effort.

On the whole I think you're on the right path because your pieces are easy to follow, and that isn't a given at all. If you've watched any of the earlier Unleashed streams you will know that a lot of pieces struggle(d) in that area. So know that you have a very solid foundation here to build on. My recommendation would be to concentrate your efforts on rhythm, especially in the bass. Maybe some other people can give more specific recommendations here, but all I can say is that you can pick up a lot from listening to some of your favorite JW (action) pieces and listening closely what the bass voices are doing. You can even forget about the pitch and just try to match the rhythm, and just the act of doing that at the piano will eventually help build a kind of internal vocabulary of what you can do rhythmically. Don't expect miracles here though, these things take time, but they do compound over the years.

 

1st piece:
It seems to be moving around the same tonality too much. Some modulation would be good. Try to aviod being too Diatonic and use chords out side the scale.
Aviod a repeating base line try a counter melody instead. Why? Repeating something too much lose interest unless it's done extremly well like Hanz zimmers soundtrack for dunkirk

2nd piece:
I don't really see how the first few notes fit with the rest of the piece. It only becomes clear later one how it connects maybe try to make it more clear earlyer on?
This piece also seems a bit too diatonic. When repeating an idea try to change the harmonies. So it's still familiar but with something new on it. I really like how it ends. Nice chord.

3rd piece:
It didn't really feel like it had a memoriable melody. A way to create tension is to move up towards the scale mainwhile you can also use the main melody and in the "holes" create a counter melody like a question and phrase.
Or alternativ you can build tension up and then at the reselution introduce the main theme in it's full form.

Overall what I think you need to improve on is to aviod being too diatonic since being in the same scale too much becomes boring because you become so familiar with the tonality.

If you don't already I recomend spending time analyzing works of what you want to do. Notice patterns. Ask: What are the diffrence between their piece and yours? What are they good at that you aren't?
You can score read on Imslp.org and take notes on what you notice.

hope it was useful.
Kind regards.
Bjarke.