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Piano-cello duet composition

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Francesco Bortolussi, Nov 6, 2020.

  1. #1 Francesco Bortolussi, Nov 6, 2020
    Hey y'all!

    I have unfortunately been very absent in the forum for the past few months and haven't been able to write much music at all. Sadly, I had some big tendonitis problems that made it impossible for me to play the piano (something I'm still battling with), so I wasn't really able to compose anything for many months. However, I did improve a lot lately, so I had the chance to finally write something!

    This is a mellow and cheesy piano-cello duet. I was lucky enough to have a friend of mine (who is a professional cello player) play the cello part, which gave it a lot more depth and musicality! Some piano things are half improvised, so the notes are not a 100% match.

    Here's the score: https://www.dropbox.com/s/cqvi04w8euweght/to noemi - Full Score.pdf?dl=0

     
    Sinethemba Gwadiso, Andrew McAfee and Martin Hoffmann like this.
  2. #2 Martin Hoffmann, Nov 8, 2020
    Lovely piece! Must be fun being able to play an instrument that well and do it together with others.


    If you're up for some unsolicitedy medical advice, these kind of stretching excercises have been a game changer for me:
    (video is in German, but you'll get the gist of it just from watching)


    I'm not a doctor and if you try anything you do it on your own risk, but when I had tendonitis it got noticably better within 2 days of regular stretching and was almost gone within 2 weeks. Resting and ibuprofen didn't help me at all before I tried the stretches.
    Depending on where your arm hurts, you might need a different kind of stretching excercise, but the principle is always the same: hold the stretch for at least 90 seconds, ease into it, slowly increase tension over time, slowly ease out of it (very important and that's the part that will hurt the most if you do it too quickly). It's supposed to hurt, but not so much that you can't smile anymore while doing it. YMMV, but for me it's the closest to a miracle cure I've ever experienced for anything.

    The theory behind it is that monotone muscle contractions (including very passive ones like sitting or sleeping) lead to foreshortened fasciae tissue, and the stretching excercises help restructure that tissue in a way that releases the non-stop tension that is causing the pain. If you try it, let us know how it goes.
     
  3. #3 Doug Gibson, Nov 8, 2020
    So sorry to hear about your problem. Great that you are back at composing.

    Good luck with it, and hope you are back at full speed soon.

    I am sure you have many options but I'll leave you with two that I know of.
    (I have never done any work with either, so this is NOT an endorsement)

    https://www.alanfraserinstitute.com/

    www.golandskyinstitute.org
     
  4. #4 Francesco Bortolussi, Nov 10, 2020
    Thank you! I was so lucky to play with this cello player, super talented and musical!

    I'll look into it, thanks! A couple of physiotherapist told me some version of what you write here, and I can definitely see why stretching would be helpful. What I was doing was a milder version of that stretching exercise, so maybe the one in the video will be more effective. Pretty crazy to discover how difficult it is to get rid of this kind of tendon tension, which can last for weeks and months!

    Thank you! I'll also look into this.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Thank you for listening to my music!
    Do you guys have any criticism regarding the piece? A bit cheesy and not super ambitious, but if you have any comment on it, I would be very happy :D
     
  5. #5 Doug Gibson, Nov 11, 2020
    You answered the question as to why I did not comment. The most important thing is that you are writing, and hopefully getting positive/ enjoyable energy from your music. Then it has a dedication, so of course, the sentiment over-rides anything else

    I try not to always have predetermined filters of "Thou shall, thou shall not" when it comes to listening.


    Ok.......

    Probably the two biggest critiques I would have, that are within the bounds you set forth, are the bass line and the voice leading/harmonic rhythm.

    Too many root position chords for my taste.
    I can probably give you most of the same issues I would knock through throughout the piece just by looking at the opening.


    So if I reduce your melody a little we can see something like this

    upload_2020-11-11_16-32-15.png


    pretty much straight up and down and "thirds" have the implied harmonization.

    A couple of things.

    1. I don't like everything stops on the downbeat of measure four. Nothing is pushing the music forward. The other measures are interesting with the suspensions but none are given to measure 4.

    2. The pull of the music actually feels like it wants to resolve to A. (5-4-3-2----) That will be strong for an ending, but for an opening, I would personally try andnot give that away and make the C# feel more important.

    Let's explore some options

    Your melody at begins at 5 and has the effective leap of a 5th up. So let's distinguish between steps and leaps. The pull was too many steps.

    So I will leap down a 5th from C#, and this set's up the ear for measure 5.


    Here is one possible option. Now there is a line to set up the C# as the logical conclusion note, and there is more activity than just waiting on the 5.
    Plus I can reharmonize as I wish, so beat 1 could become Bmin, to E, or even further out

    View attachment upload_2020-11-11_16-49-30.png



    I can try and explain more later if you wish. I gotta run and pick up my kids.

    Bye
     
  6. #6 Francesco Bortolussi, Nov 17, 2020
    Yeah I understand all this. I'm happy of what the piece achieved in terms of energy/reception for what it was supposed to do (dedication and all). It was very fun recording it and a nice experience overall.
    I asked for comments on the composition because I think I'm good at separating the emotional attachment/feelings I have for my music from the raw "craft" compositional aspect of it.
    I really like this comment, I understand why the E to A would sound a bit to resolute and non-dynamic as the last chord of the introduction. In my head I wanted to give an E major chord to restore some hopefulness from the A-Dm-A movement (which is inherently melancholic), but having a non-dominant harmony like a IV chord doesn't kill the momentum. Also the movement leading up to the C# looks to be a great improvement! It honestly makes a big difference.

    I agree with your comment about using a lot of root position chords. I think it's probably a byproduct of not writing for so long, it felt way safer to go for root position chords - even if it can make for more boring harmonic passages.

    In a simple sounding piece like this, small decisions about what chords to use and which inversions to use are really paramount, and can make a big difference! Even changing a couple of chords (like you showed me here) could improve the piece a lot. I appreciate the comments, they're actually really helpful.
     
  7. #7 Francesco Bortolussi, Dec 15, 2020
    Hey! I wanted to update you and thank you for that video. It’s hard to say exactly how much of an impact that particular type of stretching had because I was already on my way to recovery, but damn I feel like they helped a lot! I feel like those exercise really make you stretch to the full extent that your arm is capable of, they felt like they were improving things day by day. Now the pain is completely gone and I haven’t had any problem for at least a couple of weeks!

    Thank you so much again
     
    Martin Hoffmann likes this.
  8. #8 Martin Hoffmann, Dec 17, 2020
    Awesome! Made my day to hear that it helped, thanks so much for letting me know! It's also an important data point for me as I keep recommending these excercises to people with similar problems. I really do believe they have figured out a very efficient cure for a certain common type of strain-injury. With your case, a friend of mine's and my own, the stats I'm tracking are now 3 out of 3 cured. I'm really happy it worked for you too :). Things getting noticably better day by day is exactly how it was for me too.
     
    Francesco Bortolussi likes this.
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