Further Questions for Unleashed track Rocket Launch

Oh stop. Don't be. I've written much worse, I promise you.

We all do. it's endless

I would say move on from this piece. I think you would learn more by writing more pieces. Personally I would advise limiting the durations of your pieces for the short term. say 60 seconds. Really work on your craft that way, and write a variety of pieces. As you develop of course you can toss out the arbitrary 60 second thing.

 

Good on you for putting your piece out there for critique and looking for clarification. I'll be happy to offer my perspective.

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There was another masterclass ("Mod Squad") where he expounded on this concept significantly further. But essentially as it relates to your question, it's not that the melody itself needs to be incomplete or obfuscated to start, it's just that you need to consider where you put the most complete presentation of that idea. In your case, the melody as presented at the end would be dressed in the context of something rumbling/heroic/soaring/terrifying (whatever you are trying to convey by a launch) whereas the initial presentation of that same melody may be understated/gentle/foreboding (again depending on what the story needs).

Hope this helps.
John

 

The context part I can hear (understated to start … heroic/building to finish). The part I can't hear is the statement ("What I Wanted To Say" or even "What I Did Say") at the start. That makes that beginning feel disconnected to me. Perhaps it's my ears and it is in fact present but kind of lost in the rhythm/volume issues that you mentioned? I can hear parts of the contour of that melody, but seeming with notes missing. That sparseness makes it hard to follow and tell where the focus is. I think a possible place to start with exploring an adjustment would be to let the melodic statement be present in full (notes/rhythm) from the beginning and then dial back the dynamics/phrasing of it to match the subdued context. If in fact it does exist already, then it may be addressed automagically as you address the rhythm/volume.

 

Maybe there is also a matter of context. Perhaps if you are actually scoring a film, or having someone really listen carefully at your 4 minute piece, then perhaps it is a good idea to save the full statement of your idea for the end, but in a context like the Unleashed, where Mike tries to get through so many pieces and tries to get the essence of the piece and what constructive critique to give as soon as possible, then it is perhaps a good idea to present the key elements as quickly and clearly as possible. At least that’s what I will try next year and something I wished I did this year.

 

An example -- The Fellowship Theme from LOTR:
"The Fellowship is Assembling"

"The full Fellowship Theme" (they're all together and in full force, intro is a bit of the Shire theme):

"The Fellowship is broken" (the full theme isn't ever quite complete again, and isn't heard in fuller form until the end of the films)

"The three remaining members of the Fellowship -- hopeful and with resolve, but not full" (notice at around 1:05 the instrumentation and harmonies change as they enter a new land)

"Two of the Fellowship do some heroic things" (they're still mid-battle and it's not looking good, and as such the Isengard music interrupts and overtakes the theme)

In each case the theme serves the arc of the narrative, both in tempo, how fully formed it is, how it is orchestrated, how dense the harmony is, and what other motifs are paired with or interspersed with it. As John mentioned, the theme itself is still presented in terms of the melody, but how full or fleshed out it is serves the narrative arc. It wouldn't have the same effect if it was just massive from the get-go, as it has no way to transform meaningfully or build.