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Cruise that jungle - (fire at will ! on my new project)

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Hur Ozan Cerrahoglu, Mar 7, 2022.

  1. #1 Hur Ozan Cerrahoglu, Mar 7, 2022
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2022
    Hi all,

    I am trying to put together such a composition; if there is a demand I can also play on piano and screen record it.

    It is half ready, inspired by Jungle Cruise movie (but not stolen or borrowed).



    As you can imagine following the dominant 7th at the end, it will connect to a Bm jedi march sort of section, from there we will go back to main theme and then finish. (that's the plan)
     
    Jay Polk, Michael Lückgen and Sylvain Provenzano like this.
  2. #2 Marian Szewczyk, Mar 30, 2022
    Depends, what would you like us to comment on? Your orchestration and digital-production skills seem solid. (Except, the end seemed a bit abrupt, but you did mention that.) I think your theme / melodic core could be stronger. What's the 30-second-piano-version of it?
     
  3. #3 Duncan Formosa, Apr 2, 2022
    The opening is a little hard to grasp onto I think. I feel like there's a lot of rhythmic stuff that's fighting with each other so I feel a little disorientated which might cause the listener to tune out.

    After 0:26 I started to get with you, the melody is nice and simple and has a lot of potential. I would have maybe repeated the theme from 0:26 - 0:40 one more time with a little variation though, my brain was expecting you to do that and it was a little unsatisfying when it didn't happen.

    The part after that is fine as well (interesting that you repeated that idea twice and not the first idea) and then you go back to the previous melody which is good.

    You started losing me at around 1:26 though, maybe work on that a little bit. I can't pin point what was bothering me about it though that's the only thing.

    Hope that helps!
     
  4. #4 Hur Ozan Cerrahoglu, Apr 30, 2022
    Thanks a lot.

    I will keep your advices in mind in my next piece.

    By the way, the mixing of this one is finished, in case you want to listen again, it should sound a bit better now.

    Best,
     
  5. #5 Hur Ozan Cerrahoglu, Apr 30, 2022
    Hi,

    It is finished now. Unfortunately, can't change a thing now due to frustration )) but all comments are welcome I can pay attention in next project.
     
  6. #6 Doug Gibson, May 1, 2022
    Hey ! Your pieces have really come a long way. Incredible !

    Sounds really good, and I like your themes and vibe a lot.

    For your next project, I would consider in the middle section using various time signature, or other devices to keep the music from falling into a square 4/4.
    Not that 4/4 is bad, or not to use it, but it's a stable feeling......which is not what I think you are trying to convey. If I close my eyes, and start your piece at 2:00 I get images of
    Harry Potter or Star Wars in my mind. Not a jungle. Not that I have ever been deep in the jungle, but I would imagine it would be "unexpected" shit that you worry about.
    Well....actually I was in the outback of OZ once, and it was always the Crocs..... they hide really well.

    Anyhow, I listened to one cue of the actual soundtrack, and I can say JNH is also breaking out of 4/4 in the cue I listened to.
     
  7. #7 Doug Gibson, May 1, 2022
    OK..... so I transcribed a little of the cue from the actual soundtrack...




    See what I mean about weaving in and out of 4/4 ?
     
  8. #8 Hur Ozan Cerrahoglu, May 1, 2022

    Dear Doug,

    Thanks a lot for such motivating feedback.

    - I totally agree with lack of modulations and signature changes to create more interest. Why not? Of course it should be, thank you for heads up. This actually i've heard for other pieces as well from someone. It seems in order to create a B section i spent too much time and energy for them lydian modes on first inversions to create a JW vibe (as you said, it reminded you SW or HP - that's such an honor to hear). In next project I must take this into account many thanks again for your interest and care.

    - About the plot of the piece, I was inspired by JNH vibe on the beginning of the piece but I totally deviated from it and tried to use my own imagination. On that sort, i actually thought about Mike's The Race piece where he started for an animated movie but then deviated to his own stuff.. Likewise, I got inspired by JNH overture but i imagined the protagonist jumping here and there, then reaching some secret area of wonders, then German Submarine tracks him (like in movie), but then Russian Submarine comes and tracks German Submarine (for additional chaos where i threw in some choir) and our guy finally somewhat completes his journey. (actually jungle was less on my mind on this :) i didn't really think about using any instrument which would promote the idea of jungle either. i was just focusing on the mood of the protagonist and threw all possible teachings from Mike's classes :) .

    - I can play the piece on piano from beginning to end, should I take a screencap and upload here? (I am no piano player either, learned piano only by watching Mike's classes.)

    Best,
     
  9. #9 Hur Ozan Cerrahoglu, May 1, 2022

    This is awesome. So you transcribed this in 1 day???
    + on this example however, I believe it is following the motion picture events - if I throw such vibe in, will it be ok on standalone piece?
     
  10. #10 Doug Gibson, May 2, 2022

    Yes. I did this after reading your post. I try....emphasis TRY... and transcribe every day. Like anything else you get in or out of shape.

    I just went to YouTube and searched thru the soundtrack and below is the cue I uploaded my Sibelius playback of.
    I wanted to make sure I knew what I was advising was indeed in the direction for where you want to go.




    Regarding your question unfortunately it leads back to that old answer "it depends". Mission Impossible is in 5. I can't speak for the general public; all I can say is what I experienced while listening to your piece.


    Keep up the great work

    Doug
     
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