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Would love to here your thoughts!

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Max Fabian Juras, Mar 12, 2018.

  1. Hi everyone!

    I just finished a little track and would love some feedback, critic, input what ever, just where you think I could improv the track. I think there is a good start but there is some things missing, but I just can't here what it is anymore. A little input or thoughts would be appreciated:)



    Cheers!
     
  2. As I was listening to this, trying to think about what comments I'd have on this, it struck me. You said you feel your piece is missing something and on the second listen through I think I realized what it is missing.

    Bass.

    I was going to make a comment about the way you've orchestrated things and the choices you made regarding doubling certain instruments... but I think all those issues would be resolved, or be less of a problem, once you get a nice, fat percussion groove in there. Heck doesn't even have to be percussion... upright bass could be quite nice.

    Btw, since this piece is called Sky Journey, I am going to presume you're intending to conjure images of flying, right? If that's the case, a common trick is to have some kind of bass line in your piece and then pull it out, making everything else "float" and "soar". It's an easy trick and another reason why you might want to try adding some bass notes in (so you can pull them out at some point and create that floating feel).

    Compositionally I don't have much to say, I quite like this piece, I am just not quite sure about your specific choice of using the violin. This kinda groove, to me, sounds like a sax melody (if put an octave lower)....anyway, I am rambling ;)

    One more quick tip (because your post indicates to me you've been going over this piece for a while now)...step back from it for a week or so, then listen with fresh ears, it works like magic, it really does!
     
    Max Fabian Juras likes this.
  3. Could be just me, but I wanted more dynamic range. Everything struck me as being highly compressed, and all at the same very high level of volume. By letting in more dynamic range, it would then be possible to put more "punch" into the syncopations at selected parts of the track. Not every syncopation should be punched, that would not be musical. Just to add interest here and there. Definitely at the end.

    The theme is good. Harmonies good, although you could spice it up by looking for a few places to use modal borrowing, like a flat 7 instead of a dominant chord here and there. The flat 7 is usually associated with westerns, but I think it could really work in this context.

    The orchestration is good, but individual instrument lines lack dynamic expression. But you can't have dynamic expression with the whole track pushed up so high in volume. This is a very attractive track, and could easily be good for a number of different uses.
     
    Max Fabian Juras likes this.
  4. Thanks so much for your feedback and you definitely have some good thoughts there!! Maybe it is the upright bass that will rescue this piece:) You are not the first one that comments on the violin. I understand what you mean with a sax melody. I just don't have any good sax VI. But thanks again for taking the time to listen and share your thoughts!! I appreciate it:) I will go back to this track and try some of your ideas!

    Cheers//Max
     
  5. Thanks Paul for giving me some good thoughts! I really appreciate it:) You are absolutely right about everything you say. The piece needs moor midi fiddling and I just think thats become boring after awhile. But I definitely hear what you say and I agree on everything. Thanks for taking the time to listen to the track and giving me some good feedback!! Cheers mate:)

    //

    Max
     

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