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Urban Fauna

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Mattia Chiappa, Sep 30, 2017.

  1. Hello everybody! Lately I've been trying to improve my writing for woodwinds and I came up with this short little piece. I always feel like I'm struggling to develop my ideas especially when it comes to variations on a theme or writing a B section and I think this piece is a very good example of that.

    What do you think? How could I improve this? Any help is very much appreciated, thank you!!!

     
    Paul T McGraw likes this.
  2. Great profile pic....that you ?

    To give you brief points on your question here are succinct answers I have found really helped me with this

    1. Rythmn and Contour are what identify a "motif" or "kernel"
    2. How, or the degree to which you "control your repetition" . That term is most like vague and unclear right now. Basically when you repeat a phrase how exactly does the 2nd/3rd time on match the first.
    3. One way to create a "B" section is to write out all the characteristics of your A section and do the opposite. Other well used devices are introducing a new timbre (ie. woodwinds for A then all brass for B), and moving to a new pitch center.
    The sonata form is all about this.

    Basically there are dozens of ways to go about this. I think it is great you are already "modeling" your work on pieces you like.
    Transcribing (as I am sure others will chime in about) is fantastic. If you find you are not able to transcribe by ear the music you enjoy listening to (that's pretty common) then find the sheet music to a score you really, really wish you wrote.

    Get a pen, paper and copy it all out by hand. By hand. Do this for a few scores. You will begin forming a mental imagine for sounds you hear, and
    keep a journal for any insights you notice (ie. composer xyz gets to a B section by ......etc.)


    Form: Static vs Dynamic. Both are very useful. Static is taking a preexisting template (12 bar blues, a jazz standard, Sonata form etc.) and fill in the form. Dynamic means you are not following a pre-conceived idea of the form and trying to deduce from your initial material where the music should go. Back in the day the term "Gestalt" was used to describe this. Some composers went to extremes in the the whole form would match the initial idea. Just remember to not be the "man walking himself down the street on a leash". These are all invented ideas anyway.
     
  3. I can (and I'm sure a lot of others) echo what Doug is saying, especially for transcription. If you can't do it by ear, find the sheet (hint: I posted about where to find full Film Scores so dig around, or if it's a classical work, it's probably here). And either write it out, or play out every single line. I'm composing on the piano and I found that I have much more use out of it if I play it out. Every single line, and then I listen back to the original and play along.

    Whenever I'm suggesting transcribing to someone, I use the analogy of the ol' wheel. The wheel is already there, there's no need for you to reinvent it. Study the wheel. Then build the car. Oh, you want to build a big armored car that blows things up? Don't have to invent that either, that's a tank, there're plenty of tanks for you to study. And once you've studied what's been invented so far, go and build a spaceship. Try. Maybe you stumble onto something. But even if you can't build a spaceship, it's okay. People will always appreciate a good tank.
     
    Mattia Chiappa and Doug Gibson like this.
  4. A lot of this..... just takes time too. Everyone goes through this. You have accomplished a lot already by putting together what you posted.

    I think everyone (if they make it this far) goes through at least 3 stages.

    1. Recreate: Just like learning a language.... building a vocab, how things get put together, technical issues etc.
    2. Deviating, deriving, and creating: Your about here. Your branching out on your own. This is good, and this is why you are feeling confused and frustrated. Just need to keep at it, learning more scores and devices. Right now --- it sounds great what you have -- but there are really only two main sources that you seem to be drawing from. As such, Sensei Verta looms all over this piece. I was going to tell you where I thought a good B section melody would be, but it has the same notes as the Batman theme. It's fine.......... that's not a knock.......just keep learning.

    3. Fingerprints: This is where you keep coming back to certain things (like a wicked girlfriend) and moves no matter how many scores you listen to. Your influences will always be detectable, but the filter which they are coming through is unique and they are more like background ornaments. The audience that follows you trusts you so ... they will even indulge you a bit (see wicked girlfriend comment)
     
  5. Thanks for taking the time to reply and for the detailed answers! This is actually very helpful. I know I should probably do some more transcribing and analising the pieces I like. I usually do that when I reach a breaking point of frustration and hating every single thing I write, which is very often but not nearly enough. It should become part of a more structured routine.
    I've only been composing for about a year and the more I commit to it the more I'm realizing how much time it takes to really master the craft. Even though I love the learning process sometimes I wish the was a shortcut ahaha

    BTW yes that's me in the pic. A couple of years back in my gigging days!
     
  6. More or less vertical development. You keep layering things or changing the sound without moving an actual harmonic progression forward. You have a device over a progression which is essentially one chord, which you then modulate to a new, single chord, and do it again, and again, but this does not constitute musical development. You change orchestration and devices, but the chord progression itself isn't developing. Here's a few seconds of improv, not to rub it in, but to hopefully illustrate what I mean. This is essentially one-handed piano, but everything you need is there. Orchestration does not fix lack of harmonic motion.

     
  7. Thanks Mike! As much as I try not to, I keep falling into that vertical development trap. I'll definitely try to experiment with the harmonic motion as you just showed in the improv. Thank you so much for thanking the time to record that!
     
  8. Great thread. @Mattia Chiappa I very much enjoyed this piece. Things I liked: energy, woodwinds (underutilized these days). great samples, great mix, your motif is great and gives you lots of scope for variation and development.
     
    Mattia Chiappa likes this.

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