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The Land of Wonders

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Francesco Bortolussi, Nov 18, 2018.

  1. Hey y'all!

    Schedule is incredibly busy, but in the span of 2-3 days I was able to find a grand total of 12-14 hours to rush out an orchestral thingy-doo. This is a big disclaimer, since everything I came up with here is pretty much semi-improvised (~2-3 hours for the piano draft, ~12 hours for orchestrating it). Although, the melodic ideas made it rather simple to develop it; I think I got lucky with the melodies, they have this "familiar" movie music quality, and it was straight-forward for me to see where to bring them.
    All in all, this piece is a good representations of what comes out when I have no time to think about what I'm doing.

    It has a bunch of problems, like everything I write:
    - the orchestration is a touch more dense that I anticipated, although I think I did an okay job in it.
    - I transcribed quite a bunch of things in the past few months, and there are a couple of very direct (orchestration) lifts in it. Some of the influences are rather obvious, but I'm curious to see if you can spot the biggest "mood" influence.
    - I still have a very poor understanding and usage of percussions, which I should try to fix ASAP.
    - It's a cheesy piece, especially the finale.
    - I suck at picking titles.

    I'm gonna attach score and Noteperformer rendition. The score is NOT heavily revised, and it has probably some ugly parts in it that have to be fixed, in order to make everyone happy in the orchestra.



    Score: https://www.dropbox.com/s/x69k9mfes4toxi1/the_land_of_wonders.pdf?dl=0

    Anyway, I think it turned out okay, and I hope you enjoy it!
     
  2. Nice piece. Sorry, you did not get any comments earlier. I think this is really great as is. It has a sort of Disney vibe to it. I think this is worthy of a virtual instruments mockup. My guess is that by using top quality sample libraries it would sound glorious. A few small places might need to be revised if it was going to be performed by real instruments. Too many repeated sixteenth notes in a row for trumpets. On page 5 the horns and trumpets are going to disappoint you playing that low in their register. You should take it up an octave, at least in the trumpets, and it will be more effective. Trumpets do not have to be shrill until you get up to about a concert A above the staff.
     
    Daniele Nasuti likes this.
  3. Francesco I liked this way more than your other piece "woodwind quartet 2"
     
  4. I got this device from transcribing a William's piece. I didn't really understand it yet, it seems like putting a lot of low 16th notes is kind of pointless, so until I understand more about it I would have to agree with you.
    Yeah I didn't want to have notes on the higher octave because I didn't "hear it" when I was writing the passage; so I thought about doubling them to give them enough sound to sustain the melody down there. Might be a plain mistake though :D

    You guys are very kind! Thank you so much!
    I agree, I would indeed need to clean it up a lot more if it had to be performed live, I kind of glossed over it for now because I didn't have time. Now if only I had the skills/libraries/computing power necessary to mock it up decently :D Maybe I should think about paying someone to do it for me!
     
  5. You've got an absolutely killer melody. It's pure gold honestly. Strong, flexible, very memorable imo. In fact I rushed to the piano to find it on the keys. Oof! Well done! If I can find a bit of free time I'll give some more detailed commentary, but for now, give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back, you had me absolutely hooked.
     
    Francesco Bortolussi likes this.
  6. This is some of the best kind of compliments I could hope for! Thank you so much!

    Kinda funny how you don't have any perspective when you're "inside of it" and you're still writing the music: when I started writing this piece I thought that the melody was not that good, but I was like "what the hell, this is the only decent idea I've got now, so I guess this is gonna be the one for this piece".
     
  7. Totally hooked and I want to go to Disneyland right now!! Thank you for your posting, made me start the day with a good vibe.
     
    Francesco Bortolussi likes this.

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