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Retreat (First Post)

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Nils Egerland, May 26, 2018.

  1. Hey guys, I recently got into writing music for trailers/movies/etc. and came up with this little piece. Would love to hear your feedback! Cheers, Nils

     
    Alexander Schiborr likes this.
  2. Nice first post. Welcome.

    Met my expectations over here. I am more a pencil paper composer, so I don't have any mixing feedback.

    Keep up the good work, and look forward to hearing more of your music in the future.
     
  3. Nice job. Does this go to a film or scene?

    Bring up the string melody by alot, or push it forward more. It's so delicate and barely noticeable.
     
  4. take the spiccato accents out and put them on another instrument.

    like low trumpet staccato, or timpani, something mellow and warm, but can subconsciously drive the rhythm.

    from :41 on, feels like a different song than the first 41 seconds... no real groundwork laid for the transition - and given the abrupt mood change - you need some kind of motif other than an ostinato that's unique and identifiable for the listener to feel like it's related.

    at 1:14 you should try clearing everything out and just have choir and a solo instrument playing a melody softly... could be a solo string, horn, trumpet, maybe alto flute. Simply adding choir doesn't have the impact you're going for, because there's nothing soft to compare it to... less is more, think of a dubstep drop - where right before the drop there is 0 bass frequencies left, as well as a general decrease in total volume, before the floodgates slam in.

    so try a medium intensity percussive stop at 1:14. with just the females and maybe solo viola - then bring the full orchestra back in - bigger and better now - with the introduction of the choir. It's about contrast when it comes to impact, and in your case of making it slightly more dense doesn't feel epic...

    and a general critique might sting, but the first 41 seconds works because its more or less underscore... the entire song itself has no melody, and that's a pretty big oversight... with no melody you've essentially created 2 minutes and 24 seconds of chord progressions. this is also the missing ingredient that makes the piece seem like unrelated halves... there is no motif or melody to tie them together.

    And I hear that you have string sustains going in the background - but that's not a melody... your ears wont treat it like one, and it's not significantly different than just playing chord tones. Might sound a little weird to hear this, but a melody differs from chord voicing - and the key difference is actually the notes that aren't in the chord that makes a melody stand out.

    without unapologetic passing tones - it would just be an arpeggio and blend in to the arrangement.

    Hope that helps! welcome
     
  5. Hej Nils,

    Thanks for sharing and welcome to the forum. First I thought: Oh sounds like a speed up version of the dark knight or something similiar. Second thought: I heard this kind of stuff a million times..already. Actually you say you wrote that track for trailer and stuff therefore I give you my first advice: In the main part your percussion has to come out more broad. The percussion should have more impact there, so I think they are either too thin in the mix or too quite, maybe both. This music is most about production value.

    Second: Your build up momentum could be improved. Those Zimmer music and epic trailer stuff works a lot with vertical packing instruments one by one. So I find you should think about to introduce the elements which makes the track bigger also ony by one:
    First strings, then percussion, then brass, then intensify that with choirs etc. In your version almost everything comes in.

    Other than that, I don´t have to complain that much here. It fits to the trailer music. Stands it out? Hm, not so much for me. Does the chord progressions sound interesting? Not that much:cool:. Point for me is with such tracks: If you want to gain more interest (but thats a personal taste) you should mix familiar stuff with some fresh interesting stuff. For instance while I don´t have any complain that you repeat your chord progression in your mainpart ad nauseam, I think you could think about expanding the motif with different chord progressions or substitute chords and add more interest with shifting round more the orchestration.

    But man..I don´t write that music so take my comment just with a grain of salt.
     

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