1. Didja accidentally blow through the whole, "We're using our real names" thing on registration? No problem, just send me (Mike) a Conversation message and I'll get you sorted, by which I mean hammered-into-obedient-line because I'm SO about having a lot of individuality-destroying, oppressive shit all over my forum.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Discussion areas for the individual classes are unlocked for all users. Let's see if this makes it any more useful. If not, we'll drop this or organize under a single banner to save space and lean things out.
    Dismiss Notice

Just got inspired... Capt. Marvel 2nd Instalment

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Hur Ozan Cerrahoglu, Mar 30, 2019.

  1. Nice job. It's great to hear you getting inspired by Capt. Marvel.

    Sounds heroic, the intro is good and sets the tone for the rest of the piece very well.

    Your melody is very confusing, it kind of meanders and seems like your introducing us to your melody then abandon it very quick for a different idea.

    0:16 - I'm not sure what this is, I thought it could be the melody & perhaps it is dervived from the melody. But this was just confusing to me... As in the beginning espeically after your intro I'm waiting for your statement.

    30:-1:00 is like you were messing with your motif/idea before even stating it to us. I'm confused based on the first listen.

    1:00-1:30 is a new feel or new direction. It's in the same world so you didn't throw me off completely, and after listening 2 times through I see you do mess with your motiff a bit but because you haven't established a strong footing for us it's not as powerful as you might as hoped for first-time listeners.

    1:28 is a very cool "Holst" harmony, but comes out of no where and therefore is displeasing instead of WOW which is what you were probably intending. Just develop us and lead us to that harmonic excitement.

    1:43 on the oboe is what I feel is finally a melody we can follow. You even present it as A-B phrasing for us which is great.

    2:24 you finally start to repeat your melody and let us know this is it. This should've came way earlier then 2 minutes into the piece.

    Overall, great job and being able to write something like this so quickly and from being inspired. Looking forward to your Capt. Marvel 3rd installment :D
    JP Beveraggi likes this.
  2. Great sounding piece! You keep the heroic vibe pretty consistent throughout, so it is easy to imagine a context for it.

    However, I would agree with Dillon about the clarity of your statements. You have written a decent amount of melodic content, but very few phrases are clearly highlighted boldly enough to be remembered on first listen. It forces the audience to listen to the track several times before deciding on what to take away. It is all about intent I guess, you could well have gone for a heroic orchestral vibe, in that case you successfully did it. It is a shame because by simply restructuring the piece and by contrasting the important musical statements from transitions, you could turn it into a full blown theme in my view.
    Dillon DeRosa likes this.
  3. Many many thanks. So i had to work more on the statements and continuity rather than amazing/amusing myself with orchestral embellishment. ))
    Dillon DeRosa likes this.
  4. Awesome sound @Hur Ozan Cerrahoglu and the composition itself is very impressive as well. I envy your ability to get that BIG tutti sound. My biggest complaint is that it ended too soon. I was really enjoying it.

    I know that most composers on this site are more oriented towards music for media, so longer forms are not wanted I suppose. Still, I would have loved to hear you make this into a 7 or 8-minute piece in sonata form.
  5. Many thanks Paul! I was thinking about reconstructing entire thing from the beginning due to other comments about structure.
    Paul T McGraw likes this.
  6. I'm always wanting the longer form pieces. although 7-8 is what everyone should be able to do with their ideas, I really want to hear 15-20 mins.
    Paul T McGraw likes this.
  7. Of course, every artist has their own ideas about aesthetic choices. Sometimes there are technical reasons why something should be changed. For example, bad or unrealistic orchestration. Excessive repetition, or no repetition at all, would also be a technical mistake "in my opinion." And not all composers would agree with that statement, for example, minimalists would disagree. So what I am saying is this: get lots of opinions and feedback. Someone might offer something that gives you an "aha" moment and helps you improve the piece. But once you achieve a certain level of knowledge and skill, it is mostly then just a matter of different people having different opinions.

    I just listened again, and I detect no technical issues. But all the feedback you receive is useful and welcome because sometimes a different point of view will generate one of those "AHA!" moments, and lead you to a new level of accomplishment.

    In Williams "Raiders" march he modulates about every 32 bars, while only adding a tiny bit of new material. But those modulations to different key centers keep the piece sounding fresh and constantly exciting. I love modulations and I love fresh harmonies. Perhaps thinking about harmonic variety and more modulation will "click" for you. But the piece is fine just as it is.
  8. Meanwhile somewhere in Moscow :
    Paul T McGraw likes this.
  9. I like your track. I have not seen the movie, but your music is very appealing. I appreciate your decision to hold back the volume and be a little less bombastic in this track. You create a sense of anticipation, and just a little bit of wonder. It is hard for me to feel that fabulous sense of "awe" and "wonder" at my current age of 66, compared to how I felt when younger. But I did get a little tingle of that "wonder" feeling, so my guess is that you are doing something right!
    Dillon DeRosa likes this.
  11. Well done, this really sounds like a very believable film cue.

    My only comment is around the way you are building listeners expectations in your track. The first presentation of your theme (0:00 - 1:30) has far greater dynamics than its repeat (4:00 - 5:00). So I would assume that the climax (Captain-Marvel-saves-the-world-yet-again section) must be somewhere between the two but I can not find it. You are often building dynamics in the middle sections (some phrases have a Howard Shore / Lord of the Rings feel to them) but only resolve with short outbursts. It left me confused once the music ended.

    In short, your track is very enjoyable to listen to but I did not quite understand the story it was telling.
  12. Many thanks for valuable comments! I am only developing ))
    JP Beveraggi likes this.
  13. There is nothing wrong with your development. Let me try and clarify what I meant.

    Your track is neatly organised like a sonata with exposition/development/recapitulation, but I just wonder why the recapitulation is not the high dramatic point. I personally would have made it the most explosive part of the piece, and by contrast, kept the exposition as tamed as possible without losing the superhero vibe. I am just questioning how the dynamics are mapped in the track, all other aspects are very on point in my opinion.

    P.S: If you are writing a Captain Marvel suite, then I would totally understand your choice.
  14. I love the horns statement ~1:00. That through 1:30 definitely feels like the high point to me. 1:30 and on is cool, but I am definitely waiting for the triumphant return of the main theme. It almost starts to feel like a long coda, and then when the main theme returns it’s like, “okay yeah... not what I thought, but okay”

    Honestly the best way I can put it is 1:30 feels like I met a bad girl (or boy) and ~4:00 I learn they’re really sweet. Nothing wrong with sweet... but if I got pulled in by bad then sweet is disappointing. I don’t know if that makes sense to you but it does to me so I’ll throw it out there!

    I loved the harmony in 3:20-40.

    I can’t write or produce this well, so my feedback is probably not worth much. I’m just trying to get involved with this really cool community!
    JP Beveraggi likes this.
  15. Welcome to the community Pat.

    As far as I am concerned, any constructive feedback I receive is useful. After all, we make music for everyone to enjoy and not for award winning composers. So good on you to get involved, you will learn a great deal in the process, and share some of your tricks with us I am sure.
    Dillon DeRosa likes this.

Share This Page